Shattered - GOD LOVES ME

its been almost 3 months since i started going to UP.. guess what? i still can't digest the fact that i am no longer wearing the chamber maid uniform i once wore... moreover, i can't accept the fact that i am getting older.. and soon enough, ill see my face looking like a raisin... i went to st scho to attend the club fair and i went home depressed.. why? the students there who knows me are wearing the same face i wore whenever i see an alumna going back to st scho... ( the face of a girl saying.. "bakit sya nandito?") i finally realized that i am no longer a student in st scho and everyone will be shocked at the sight of me... they'll say... "O MY GOD!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" of course i can't say that this is my school because it isn't. my school is at the far end of metro manila... anyway, enough of my bitterness...

i am not saying that i am not enjoying my stay in UP... on the contrary, i am enjoying every second of every minute of every hour of every single tiring day. i am enjoying going to math classes (but i am not saying that i am enjoying the lecture) i am just enjoying it because of the HOT ENGINEERING MEN im with... however, i just notice them before the class starts because once my teacher starts her lecture... my brain can't even afford to breathe. i usually say to myself.. i was once good in math but now i feel so dumb.. i don't know if it is my problem or it is because i lack the knowledge i need.. but that is beside the point... the point is despite the hardships, i am still enjoying up..

however, that is not the reason why i am saying god loves me... it is so shallow... one reason i love going to school is because i get to see this special person who never fails to make me smile... i really can't find the words to say to describe her... well, tomorrow will be our second monthsery... we are about to celebrate 2 months of pure happiness.. i can't say our relationship is perfect because it isn't and i will not want it to be perfect because it will make boring... 2 months have gone so swiftly... a lot of things happened already... we've been through almost everything.. all the jealousy, the crying... but at the end of the day, i still come to realize that god really loves me.. and she is the manifestation of that love... actually, she is here with me while i am writing it that is why i can't say anything bad about her... besides, there is nothing to say against her... i enjoyed every single day of that 2 months we've been together... i am becoming mushy already.... god this is SOOOOO ME!!! hahaha!!! :) why am i exposing my love life to the whole world? one simple reason, i can't shout it out loud because my parents might hear it.. at least, i know they cannot read this because they don't know how to use the computer... :) i want the rest of the world to know that i have the best person in this entire world to love me... :) hehe... i can't say that she will stay with me forever... (baka sukuan ako e) but i will do my best to protect her against instances wherein she can bump her head so she won't realize that i am not worth the attention is giving me... :) hehe.. :) however, i can't protect her from those instances forever, in case she gets to bump her head and realize that she doesn't love me any longer... i will have no regrets cause i spent the best days of my life with her... forever is not my goal... there is no such thing as forever... i don't even want a lifetime... i just want to enjoy every moment... memories are what i want... memories which i can look back to... so i can say that i was once happy.... :) GOD LOVES ME. :) if ever she gets to read this after a few years, i hope she can say to herself that i really loved her... :)

"ikaw ang ibinigay ng Diyos para sabihing mahal niya ko"